Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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