Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
