i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
