it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
