Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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