hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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