Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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