rhymes with "ouble enetration"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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