I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
