i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
only if we run a train.
done.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
