at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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