they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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