Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
