brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
