She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
