sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
