wrigley field is MILF paradise
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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