hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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