We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
As shirtless as possible
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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