i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I smell stomach acid.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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