so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize