i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
