We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
