either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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