Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
