Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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