If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
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