if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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