I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
