so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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