thus making me awesome and them whores
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
