She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
