so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
