why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize