You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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