can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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