the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize