you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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