u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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