lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
do nipples grow back?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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