I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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