The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
it glows. i had to have it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
