ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
They have beer where we have blood.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
