Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
