I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
