Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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