They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
