The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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