What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
