Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
