im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
