Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
