The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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