He had one of those small greek statue penises
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Found the puke drawer
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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