His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
