Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
