he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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