When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize