Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Is Oprah even human
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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