Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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