ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
