I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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