quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
