no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
