Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
