'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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