she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
