Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
