I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I am one with the molecules
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
