508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
