so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
