careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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