There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
