I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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