If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
