Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It was confusing and full of hummus
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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