Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
