i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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