i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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