Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
